i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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