True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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