What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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