They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
