You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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