coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
