Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
we should paint friendship bongs
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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