That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
