I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
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the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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