what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
