Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
