I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
