just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
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