I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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