I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
