Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
