yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
