I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
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