As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
