are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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