Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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