I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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