I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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