Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
