She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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