listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
