Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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