Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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