So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
