YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
