Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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