I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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