Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
