I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
