Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
