Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize