I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
