i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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