Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
love makes seman taste better
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
