my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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