you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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