ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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