i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
