Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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