benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!