Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.