You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine