Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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