i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
