I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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