That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
