she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet