Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
That accounts for only three of the penises
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
