Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
