Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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