My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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