he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
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he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
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So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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