I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
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Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
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You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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