oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
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