pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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